Space pirates are not as fun as you may think.

I had a dream that I lived on this one planet, but most of the people at the planet lived on the station in orbit over it. There was like 20,000 people on the surface and like a million people in orbit. But pirates decided they didn’t like how our civilization kept law and order in that solar system! They wanted to smuggle things out and our ships kept stopping them. So they got a fleet together and blew up the station!

So now there were huge labor shortages on the planet itself. It took most of our effort just to keep the surface habitat running. Harsh weather, extreme cold. That’s the sort of thing we had to contend with. Also, most of the agricultural facilities were on the station! We were going to have to all pull together to stay alive.

One day, I saw a bunch of people marched up against the wall to face a firing squad! Fortunately, the firing squad only had squirt guns, but still – that is no way to treat people. “Hey,” I said. “What do you think you’re doing?”

The wetsecutionsers said “These people didn’t do their chores!” I said “That’s no excuse to do mock executions!” And I wrestled one of the squirt guns away from one of them and used it to squirt the executioners. They were all running around and squirting me, and I was squirting them. We were all getting wet.

“See, THIS is what you’re supposed to do with squirt guns!” I said.