I had a dream that I was accidentally transported back in time to Roman times. They saw me materialize out of thin air and decided to execute me as an evil sorcerer.
They were going to execute me by leaving me outside to die of exposure. I had to walk to the execution site with some other condemned criminals. I was talking to this one guy (a pleasant fellow), and I was like “Okay, I think I figured out a way to get out of this. I don’t think they’re going to check very thoroughly if we are dead. So all we gotta do is pretend to be dead, and they’ll throw us in the dead body pit, and then at night, we sneak out of there!”
He was all “No. I must pay for my crimes!” and I was all “Why? These guys are total jerks!” Eventually, I convinced him to not let himself be executed.
And then, when I got back to my own time, I found out that there was no Christianity anymore, because Jesus had not died on the cross. Oops, sorry about that, guys.
- I guess, in this version of reality, how it woulda gone down is that Jesus would’ve been executed, and then the apostles woulda gotten all fired up, and they would’ve split up to found their own ministries, and that’s what would’ve propelled christianity. Later on, somebody would’ve made up that he came back from the dead. But since I had intervened, Jesus was not killed then, and the apostles stayed together longer, and then when Jesus finally died, the moment wasn’t right, so when they went out to spread christianity, it did not catch on. For one thing, they were all old guys now, and didn’t have the fire of youth. For another thing, they didn’t have the story of their leader’s martyrdom. Later, Paul found some other thing to latch onto, and so did Constantine. Pretty much everything else happened the way it did in our world, but just with different justifications.