I had a dream that I was at a “new age” conference. We were all introducing ourselves, and I said I was from Ann Arbor. Someone said “Oh, Ann Arbor. I heard that recently, there was a baby born there that immediately spoke fluent Mayan, and talked about the end of the world.” I was like “Oh, really? Is there any documentation of this? Like, a video or something?”

Everybody’s jaw dropped and they just stared at me in shocked horror.

I felt the need to explain myself, so I said “Y’know, it’s a neat story, but it’d be even cooler if it was true.”

Someone said “What are you even DOING here?”

My bad.