I had a dream that the king of the neighboring territory offered me his daughter’s hand in marriage if I could stop the zombie horde from reaching their kingdom.

I did it!

But then the daughter married Will Smith anyway. I met up with her and I was like “Hey, what gives?” and she’s like “What?” and I was like “You were supposed to marry me!” and she was like “I’m going to marry you… OH, are you upset about Will Smith? Yeah, you and me are just going to get ‘Kingdom Married’. It’s just a formality on a piece of paper. You can’t just bargain away somebody’s love like that. Did you think people still did that?”

Oh. Uh, no, of course not. Will Smith is a great guy, congratulations… grumble