I had two dreams, but they tied back together at the end, so I’m going to report them in one post.
I dreamed that I saw a magazine that pronounced this one couple the “World’s Sexiest Couple”. The thing is, they were both horribly disfigured mutants. Would you like to hear the story of how they came to be named the World’s Sexiest Couple? Here’s how it went down.
There was a young man and a young woman who were in love. The young woman took the man home to meet her mother, whereupon the mother decided that she wanted the young man for herself. In her intense jealousy, she sought to drive her daughter away so that she could have this man for herself. She pursued her. They ran far and wide across the land. The mother knew that it was not enough merely to chase the daughter away, because as long as she was alive, she would be more beautiful than her, and she could lose the man to her. Finally, the daughter decided that she had had enough of the chase. She flung herself into a toxic lake of mutagenic slime, thinking that if she destroyed her beauty, then the man could no longer love her, and the mother’s jealousy would have no foundation. But the man had been secretly following the two of them, and when the woman jumped into the lake, he worried that she would die. He flung himself into the lake after her, thinking to save her. He didn’t care that he would come out of the lake as a horribly disfigured mutant, because they would be together. The mother saw this, turned away, and left in disgust. They were free to love one another.
And that is why they are called the World’s Sexiest Couple.
Okay. I had another dream last night as well.
In this dream, I was in a space battle against an alien foe. But we played it out more like a realtime strategy game. We all carried model spaceships and went “pew pew pew” and discussed how many points of damage the other ships should have taken. However, the results of the battle were binding, in that any territory gained or lost would be respected by both sides in real life.
So, we fought off a wave of enemy battleships, and then relaxed on the couch, eating chips and so forth. We got a call saying that there were a bunch of enemy ships inbound. We were like “Okay, tell us when they get here,” and then kept eating chips. I was a little nervous because they said that they had a larger number of ships than we did. I had an idea. I said, “Hey guys, d’you wanna practice formation battle?” They were like “Sure,” and we all stood up to practice. Just then, the enemy ships came in from the other room. Uh oh! Not only were there more of them, but they had stronger ships. They took five hits, whereas we could only take three hits. And what’s worse, we hadn’t practiced our formations. So I decided that we ought to grapple and board the ships instead of trying to dogfight them.
Now, boarding the ships was played a little differently. They had built life-sized sets that we did LARP combat on. We got into our suits and went to the enemy ship. This was difficult because the enemy were amphibious creatures and they had parts of their ship filled with water. So not only did we not know the layout of the enemy ship, but we had to hold our breath and try to find doors to the dry parts of the ship.
Whenever someone got blasted, they had to lay down. That was the rules. So that made it double dangerous to be in the flooded parts of the ship, because if we got shot there, we would actually have to drown.
Well, I made it to a dry part of the ship and found an alien and blasted him. As he lay on the ground he said he had a secret for me. It was safe to approach him because he was “dead”.
He handed me a digital camera he had. On the screen, I saw the photo that was published in the magazine, of the “World’s Sexiest Couple.” He urged me to press back a few times, and I saw a strange sight. Other photos of the World’s Sexiest Couple, including some where they had their masks off and looked like normal people rather than hideous mutants!
The guy then told me the TRUE story.
He was a photographer working for that magazine. He was hired to cover a Furry convention, so he went and interviewed people and took photos. He thought that this couple had the weirdest-looking costumes, so he did a special photo session with them. They said they just wanted to be understood for who they were.
Well, the editor of the magazine decided that this story was too disturbing and wouldn’t play well, so he made up the stuff about the mother, the flight, and the toxic lake, because he thought that would be a better story.
The guy said that he wouldn’t make it out of this sector, so I should take the camera and get the message to the people.