I had a dream that me and my mom got a pet monkey in the mail. It came in a box labeled Macaque, so that was the only way we knew it was a Macaque. It was cute.

I started “baby-talk”ing to it (pretty annoying). I would say things like “Hah hah, look at you, with all your fur on your face. Your name is Mr. Furry Face.” Or “Hah hah, look at you climbing on top of the refridgerator. Your name is Mr. Intrepid Explorer.”

My mom said “Hey, you shouldn’t confuse the monkey like that. He’s going to get the wrong idea of what his name is.”

I said “Whatever, it’s not like he speaks English… does he?”

At this point, the monkey nodded.

I was shocked. “You speak English?”

He nodded again.

“Well, if I gave you a keyboard, could you type messages to us?”

The monkey nodded.

I handed him a keyboard.

He just started typing out quotes from IRC chat channels. sigh so disappointing.