It was awhile ago that I had this dream. It’s Alex’s favorite, so he encouraged me to start writing my dreams so that I would get this one down.

In this dream, I was a member of a Christian youth group. You know, not because I was Christian or anything, just so as to have people to hang out with. Just like how real youth groups are for many people.

The thing is, this was the youth group for a rabid, fundamentalist, evangelical church.

The leaders in the church had just heard about a new church opening shop in town. They were called “The Church of the Moral Compass.” They decided to send the youth group to protest during a service of that church.

So we all went down to the service (which was on a Saturday!). The Church of the Moral Compass was pretty interesting. They had a literal compass, and while the preacher preached, he would watch the compass. And if it flicked from “Good” to “Evil”, he would say, “Oh. I guess I was wrong about that,” and then preach the opposite of what he’d just said. This was one of the richer churches, so they had the compass projected on a big wall behind the preacher, too.

Now, the youth group was seated all throughout. But apparently, word of this protest had already reached the preacher here, because he stopped the service and said:

“Now, I understand that we have some members of the congregation today who have some opinions to share with us today. Let’s welcome them and listen.”

The entire youth group stood up, so I did too. The first one spoke: “You guys can’t tell right from wrong! You’d follow that compass straight to the Devil if it told you to!”

The rest of the group was like “Yeah!” and “Right on” and clapping. Then they looked to me to speak next. I thought “uh oh. I didn’t want to actually be involved in this.” So here’s what I did:

I got my most angry, righteous voice, and I filled myself with fire and brimstone and I shouted “Now I came here today, to Listen to your ideas, and Evaluate them, based on their Merits!”

That confused every single person there. Mission accomplished.